On Below Deck Med season 9, episode 9, Ellie watches Bri do Ellie’s job while berating her, because she is second stew
We were gifted a 75-minute special episode on Below Deck Med—and not just because Bravo forced me to record Andy Cohen’s card-reading drivel—and its title, “This Boat’s Not Big Enough for the Stew of Us,” suggested a resolution to the Ellie vs. Bri situation.
Somehow, though, the episode ended in the start of the bridge meeting that last episode’s preview teased. Come on, now.
Side note: Can we stop with “To be continued…” episodes? Every episode is “to be continued.” It’s an ongoing story following the same characters!
As frustrating as it was to end without resolution, the episode did have other great content: a resolution to Gael’s boyfriend problems, and more of Iain auditioning for the role of worst bosun ever and Captain Sandy giving him more chances to screw up.
Gael and Nathan flirted before making out on the ship on Below Deck Med season 9, episode 7
Let’s dispense with the Gael drama first. Her boyfriend’s texts, if they are real and accurate, have been obnoxious. But Gael also just needs to end it with him. Thankfully, she finally did.
She’s already kissed Nathan; now she’s flirting with him by teasing him about his “tiny dick” that’s “yet to be confirmed.”
At the between-charter dinner, Gael’s awful boyfriend texted, “Do you not have time for me anymore?” She’s working, you dipshit. He also wrote, “You never say I love you anymore” and “So we might as well end it now.”
It turns out he did, in fact, notice that she’d stopped saying “I love you,” which she shared with Nathan later.
Aesha, though, was the hero of this story. When Gael left the table, upset, Aesha followed, and told her, “that’s so selfish” and “he’s working you down. … I think you’ve got every fucking right to be upset right now.”
“Fuck that shit,” Aesha also said. Show idea: Aesha and Jono give relationship advice while traveling around in Aesha and Scott’s van, and Aesha eats noodles in bed.
Gael called her boyfriend and ended it. For at least the first half of the conversation, she did a good job of putting him in his place, pointing out how unsupportive he’s being. She eventually reverted to apologizing for things she didn’t need to, but at least she’s rid of that toxicity.
Iain, back when he wanted to be Below Deck Med’s best bosun ever
Before all that, it was the final charter day, and they were still in Hydra, where you may remember Iain not noticing people standing on the rocks ready to catch lines.
Captain Sandy was heading back to an actual marina, instead of a rock dock, presumably where Iain can do a better job with his job.
That’s a negative. At the marina, Iain literally did the exact same thing again, saying, “Negative on the port guys,” despite the port guy being right there, as Gael pointed out. “I see him now; he was hiding,” Iain said.
Sandy berated Iain over the radio: “Are you fucking kidding me?” she said. “Make sure you look before you talk.”
After that—the same problem on the same charter—it’s time for him to either get checked out by a medic or check out of this job.
He does not seem to get it. Gael said there’s a “lack of accountability” as Iain is “constantly pointing the finger,” and he basically mocked Sandy for what happened earlier. “I’ll get in trouble if I do anything else,” Iain told Gael.
“Drop your fenders,” Sandy said, and Iain said: There are no fenders, no fenders. There is no boat. No water. No shore. We are in a black hole. I am all by myself. Over.
I wrote that thinking there was no way Iain would have the same problem again and then! He did. Twice. “When I move the vessel, make sure that your lines don’t touch the water,” Sandy said. “Thank you.”
So guess who threw the line in the water while she was maneuvering? As if that wasn’t enough, when Sandy told him to get the line out of the water, Iain said, “That’s not our lines, Cap.”
Gael said, “that’s our line.” Iain replied, “Uh oh. Oops.” Why isn’t Gael in charge? At this point any person who can see what is in front of them would do a better job at bosun.
At the tip meeting for guests who I forgot existed because there’s so much crew drama, Sandy called him out: “On deck, we always want to be aware of what’s around us. Iain. Little talk later.”
“Starting now, I’m not letting it slide,” she told us. And then, Captin Sandy “Let it Slide” Yawn let it slide.
“I don’t trust you 100 percent,” she told him, “so I want to get to that 100 percent trust.” What, after the boat slams into a dock or Iain comes back from an excursion, having lost several guests because he didn’t notice them flailing their arms as they drifted away?
Iain, no surprise, did not get it. “To be honest, I think I’m doing all right. But apparently, I’m wrong,” he scoffed. “She’s trying to build trust and push me to my limits.” He has a strategy: “I’m just going to keep smiling,” and as the music pointed out, he was not smiling. He can’t even do that right.
I wonder if Sandy won’t do anything about Iain because she’s distracted by her girlfriend’s impending visit.
Sandy called Aesha to the bridge. “Aesha, something’s been on my mind,” and revealed, “my plan is to ask her to marry me.”
Aesha leaped up and put her hands around Sandy’s neck and started thrashing her around, saying, ARE. YOU. INSANE. I CANNOT PLAN YOUR WEDDING AND MANAGE THESE TWO STEWS NORMA GAVE ME WHILE SERVING THESE GUESTS BRAVO KEEPS SHOVING ONTO THE BOAT EVERY OTHER DAY!
Not really, of course, but Aesha jumping up, towering over Sandy, and putting her hands on Sandy’s shoulders was a weird gesture. Of course, Aesha was jubilant and agreed to help, even though she has a Bri and Ellie problem to deal with.
Aesha celebrates Sandy’s proposal news by getting ready to choke Sandy
Time for the main event. Aesha scared Bri in laundry—”you nearly made me shit my heart out,” Bri said, and made me laugh.
Aesha asked her about the burn book. “Do you make a list in your notebook of things did Ellie did wrong?” Bri told her, “I thought Ellie was stealing clothes.”
Bri screwed up Captain Sandy’s laundry again, and told Bri to throw away the pants she ruined. Sandy told us that was like if Bri was a department head, it’d be different. Sandy, let me introduce you to your bosun, Iain, who fails to notice people on the dock. Bri is just failing to notice names in clothes.
Speaking of that, Ellie said, “everybody keeps believing Bri and her bullshit.” But who’s bullshit is it, really?
Look, Bri is not good at her job, even for an entry-level position. She looked at some pants and said, “doesn’t have a name,” and then a few seconds later, seemed to flip the tag over and read, “Jono.”
But these pants, waist size 30, did not belong to Jono. They were Joe’s. Ellie admitted she wrote “Jono” on Joe’s pants, and we even saw footage of her doing it.
Was this sabotage or just incompetence? I’m not sure. But Ellie’s reaction was to blame Bri. “The meltdowns—it’s affecting other people also,” she told Bri.
Ellie had been priming the pump, by pumping with Joe. Yes, Joe is now interested in Ellie, and he flirted with the same finesse that he has on the dock. “Is that allowed to go in the wank bank?” Joe asked Ellie when she showed him a photo of herself.
In an interview, Joe mumbled some shit that ended with “yo this is crazy bro” that I think probably translates to I’m a fuckboy who’s going to play both women with no regard for anything except my own sexual gratification, bro.
Jono said, “let’s pop these pussies, baby,” but it wasn’t Jono’s pussy popped that night. Joe and Ellie made out in front of Bri—or behind them in the van. Ellie ran her hand through Joe’s crotch and then laid across him so they could make out, with Bri right there.
Bri stood up for herself the next day. “Please don’t do it in front of me next time,” she told Ellie, who replied, “thank you for saying that. I won’t do it again.” That was the most civil conversation they’ve had, and maybe the war is over? No.
“I’m not jealous,” Bri said, it “just gets annoying when you do it right in front of me.” That, friend, is jealousy.
Ellie took a break from screwing with Bri to screw up the guests’ cocktails, making a weird yellow mojito. The guests got on the boat and got right off to go shopping with Aesha, which I don’t understand. If I chartered a yacht, I would not want to get off it immediately, and I sure as heck would never want a stupid beach meal with sand everywhere.
Bri told Captain Sandy, “I’ve been struggling quite a bit with Ellie,” and Sandy’s immediate response was, “so you want to go home?” What now? Sandy did say “you have to be more specific with me,” and Bri was reluctant to share. Sandy gave her terrible advice: “you just have to get control of your emotions.”
Ellie told Bri she was going on break, and then said, “I haven’t gotten around to cabins yet.” This, as Aesha confirmed later, was not okay. Ellie had time to do the cabins, and now gave Bri the task of single-handedly doing the cabins and then prepping for lunch when the guests came back.
Bri, to her credit, went right to work, cleaning a bathroom, and of course Ellie—who was on her break—stopped by to taunt her third stew, because this is what second stews do, don’t you know.
“You can keep trying to walk all over me, but I’m not going to take it any more,” Bri said, and I was so proud of her in that moment!
Ellie was not. “You don’t get to behave like this,” she said. Bri basically asked Ellie to leave, and of course, Ellie did not, because she wanted Bri to bow before her, probably literally. She followed Bri around as Bri did her work—not helping, but interrupting. That’s just terrible behavior by itself.
“Ellie, I’m not going to ask you again to leave me alone,” Bri said, and Ellie charged into the bathroom and grabbed Bri by the shoulder. Notice how, after grabbing Bri, Ellie immediately let go and then started pointing with her other hand. I expected her to say, I am pointing not grabbing! Pointing not grabbing!
Ellie grabs Bri, who’s not bowing to her second stew, but instead doing her job
“I am second stew. Stop that. Stop wiping!” Ellie actually said, and then had the audacity to say, “you are out of control!” This should be game over for Ellie: physical contact with a co-worker. Also notice how, after Ellie grabbed
Ellie seemed outraged that Bri was not reacting. “I expect an apology when I get back,” she said. “If not you are going straight to Captain Sandy.” Straight to the principal’s office!
In her cabin, alone, Ellie said to herself, “Just blinded by insecurity,” and was obviously talking about herself.
Bri was, understandably, upset about all this while racing to meet the guests. Captain “Ignore the Real Problems” Sandy saw her and said, “pull yourself together.” Bri asked Sandy to hand out towels while she went to get champagne.
Ellie, who you may recall berated Bri for several minutes, told her boss, “Aesha, I got completely berated.” Ellie’s had some passive-aggressive behavior before, but she’s just outright lying now.
Captain Sandy meets with Ellie and Bri and tells them she’s going to fire them both unless they start acting responsible, like Iain
So it’s so frustrating to watch Sandy call Bri and Ellie to the bridge and tell them, “I don’t know the full story, and neither does Aesha.” Of course, we have the benefit of having been in the room with both of them, and they’re not watching footage back.
But Aesha 1) knew Ellie didn’t do cabins and left them for Bri, and 2) has been subject to Ellie insisting she doesn’t want drama and then immediately complaining about Bri to create drama. That’s a big part of the story. Sure, Bri is bad at her job, but that’s different than being a terrible supervisor. And now we have evidence that Ellie is sabotaging the laundry—even if it’s not intentional.
Alas, Bri didn’t play this well, at least in the few seconds of the bridge meeting we saw, interrupting Sandy and not making a good case, which Ellie tried to use against her. “She’s completely disrespected you” Ellie told Captain Sandy.
Sandy threatened to fire them both. I wonder if Bri, realizing this job isn’t for her, has decided she’s done and taking Ellie with her. But I really hope someone, anyone, calls Ellie on her gaslighting bullshit.
